It has been three weeks since I created, wrote, published, or posted anything anywhere. I went silent on all fronts, and if you noticed, thank you for your patience.
Over the past few weeks, I have experienced multiple unexpected life events. Some of the circumstances are minor, and some of them are massive, but combined together and layered on top of one another, they created an emotional hurricane in our home that has been extremely difficult to navigate. In order to be present for my family and to care well for myself in the process, I had to step away.
The details of what is going on are not something I want to share publicly. But I will say that no one has died, no one is ill, and relationships are all in tact. For that, I am grateful. My husband Timm and I are together and united, fighting huge dragons for the sake of our family. The weight is tremendous, our hearts are heavy, and our bodies are tired. We are doing the best we can, but some days it does not feel like enough.
My work here on the blog and on social media is life-giving. I love it. It is a place I feel called to. And yet, there is no greater work than pouring into the lives of those we love, and for me, this work of being available for my family has been demanding my everything.
As I told my eleven-year-old last week, as she cried tears over feeling bad for needing so much help due to her broken leg, “Baby, don’t cry. It is an honor to get to take care of you.” To care for my family matters more than anything else I create, and it is a high calling.
One of the biggest battles I am fighting is not feeling like a disappointment to myself or others for having to change course and offer less than I intended. Sometimes it is really difficult to be kind and accepting to myself. I am leaning heavily on the comfort I find from friends who speak truth and remind me of my own philosophies of kindness and acceptance.
I had grand publishing plans the end of the year, and instead, I am taking it one day at a time. I am just beginning to get my head back up above water this week, and as I can, I will continue to share new blog posts, new podcast episodes, and new social media posts.
It is humbling to feel incapacitated, unable to show up in ways that used to be easy. But is equally beautiful to see the gifts from those who are walking with us, loving us, filling in the gaps, and reminding us that we are not alone. Thank you for being part of that beauty.
Have a lovely weekend!
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