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Serving Others During Life’s Major Moments

August 31, 2020 · In: Basics, Hospitality

When we picture hospitality, there is an assumptive mental leap we often make. We picture the β€œtypical” hospitality practices such as hosting parties or setting a table or cooking dinner for our family.  But there is a specific kind of hospitality, occurring in the sweeping swells of life, where we are called to serve and care for others in unique ways.  I like to refer to these occasions as life’s major moments.

A major moment can be defined as a rare event, either celebratory or sad, that brings heightened emotions and a greater place of need for the person experiencing the event.  Major moments can be joyous or mournful.  They can be anticipated or sudden.  They can be short-lived or ongoing.  It is the degree of need they create, starkly different than the everyday, that sets major moments apart.

Major moments can include an engagement, a wedding, the birth of a child, a graduation, a promotion, an acceptance letter, good news from the doctor, a new home.

Major moments can also include a death, a diagnosis, the loss of a job, a divorce, a miscarriage, an accident, a rejection letter, a relapse.  

No one lives a life free from major moments.  We all experience them, although with differing levels of intensity and frequency.  Major moments are the pivotal points in our life when we find ourselves most desperately in need.  Major moments are also the pivotal points in our relationships with others where we are called to step into their places of desperate need with service and care.  

Providing care and serving others during a major moment is the great honor and calling in the arc of a relationship.  We meet.  We become friends.  We become better friends.  We laugh.  We conflict.  We resolve.  We dig deep.  We embrace vulnerability.  And then, one day, in the course of our relationship, we experience a major moment.  

To care and serve someone we love in the midst of a major moment is not a burden.  It is an honor.  It is the privilege of those on the inner circle to draw in close to the person and help provide what they cannot provide on their own.  

Celebratory moments are sweeter when shared with other joyful faces who know and understand the weight of the moment. Glasses clink, smiles stretch wide, arms embrace, elation is electric and effervescent.

Tragic moments are less lonely when surrounded by hearts that weep and hurt as though the loss is their own. Tears fall, embraces linger, countenances stager, empathy walks into the grief without hesitation.

We are built for relationship, hard-wired for connection, and designed for loving community.  The magnitude of our need for kindred spirits is never more clearly felt than during major moments.  It is for times such as these that relationships are formed.  It is for life’s major moments that we invest in friends that feel like family and spend time with those who understand our hearts and would protect our interests at great cost to themselves.  It is for life’s major moments that we invest in people and allow them to see the real us, because at some point, for all of us, the walls will come down, and our hearts will be exposed.  Better to be seen and known when major moments come our way, then to be alone with our experience.

Hospitality is the life blood of caring and serving others during a major moment.  Anticipating need, expressing love, and creating space are never a more powerful triad of action than in the context of serving and caring during a major moment.  When the one we love is lost in the confusion of the moment, the whirlwind of the day, or the exhaustion of the experience, we step in with clear vision and eyes to see what they may miss.  

Do they have their physical needs met in a way that does not create more trouble?  

Are there tasks that can be easily taken care of to eliminate distractions or unnecessary toil?

Has anyone sat with them and asked all the questions that allow them to gush, scream, giggle, mourn?

Do they have tangible reminders that they are not alone?

Has the responsibility of seeking out connection been taken off of their plate (β€œCall me if you need anything!”) and put squarely on the backs of those who love them dearly (β€œI am going to call you tomorrow to check on you.”)?

The number of ways to care of serve someone during their major moments is infinite and unique to the person and their situation.  However, the philosophy and heart behind it is singular.  In hospitality, we seek to create space for change without being the change.  We accept that we cannot create change, control outcomes, or orchestrate feelings.  But we can create space.  We can anticipate need.  We can express love.  

Stepping into joy or pain in the life of those we love is sacred, yet scary.  So many emotions.  And so many variables.  What if I do it wrong?  Or what if I make it worse?  Or what if I bother them?  Or what if they don’t want me there?  

I think it’s okay to feel this way, to have these questions.  But I also think it is imperative to find the courage to move forward despite the feelings and doubts.  To err on the side of love and let go of any expectations is to pursue a greater good than our comfort for the sake of loving another well.  Like anything new or uncomfortable, the first time might be treacherous.  But you will learn and become better able to lean in and love with a wide open heart, even if it feels frightening to do so.  

Serving others during life’s major moments is the crowning jewel of hospitality, when all of our endeavors merge into an opportunity to bear burdens and help carry the load of those we love. Major moments open the door for us to serve and care with pointed purpose. We walk in partnership with those who fill our life with connection and meaning, and that partnering provides us the gift of learning to love well and serve each other with care.

By: Katherine Sasser Β· In: Basics, Hospitality

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What if you just showed up in the world? What if you just showed up in the world?
I took a spring break field trip to Dallas with my I took a spring break field trip to Dallas with my friend Nicole, and our sole purpose was to eat lunch at Loro.

Did we order half the menu for only the two of us? We did. 

Was every bite totally worth it? Absolutely. 

A true friend will order way too much food with you simply for the experience of sharing it together. πŸ’—
My sports fantasy? Playing tennis, but only becaus My sports fantasy? Playing tennis, but only because the outfits are the absolute cutest! I call it aspirational tennis, and a round up my favorites is on the blog today. 🎾
In an effort to get inspired to add a touch of spr In an effort to get inspired to add a touch of spring to my home, I did an internet deep-dive to create what I think is a beautiful collection of inspiring images designed to spark my inner home-decor maven.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
The result is a game-plan for small ways I am planning on fluffing my home for spring without redecorating every room.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
Too good to be true?  Hardly!  All the details are on the blog...
Embracing all the spring!! Embracing all the spring!!
No, we didn’t travel with the dog. Yes, we did t No, we didn’t travel with the dog. Yes, we did travel halfway with toddlers. Yes, we broke down on the side of the highway and rode in a tow truck. Apart from that drama, it was lots of food, coffee, band, shopping, hanging, filling out Oscar ballots, and watching Lillian master the hoverboard.
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Pistachio Bundt Cake is my new favorite spring des Pistachio Bundt Cake is my new favorite spring dessert, and I’ve been making it on repeat. It couldn’t be any easier, and the full recipe is on my blog!

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