This post is coming to you live from The Face Of The Sun. Here in Fort Worth, we are smack dab in the middle of Hot-pocalypse 2018, sweating our way through the worst summer I can recall, wondering why we ever complained about the cold, and trying to stay hydrated and sane.
I checked my weather app last night at 10:00, and it was 100 degrees. Does this strike anyone else as wrong on some level, or is it just me?
Despite the depressing triple digits, we have laughed a lot over here this week. Maybe it’s heat-realted delusion, or maybe we really are funny. I can’t tell anymore.
Here’s what we talked about this week…
ONE.
I am going to have to insist that you take three minutes out of your life and watch this clip. I struggle to accept this is real, but it clearly is, and I cannot stop watching. It’s the most entertaining thing I’ve seen on the internet in a while. And I’m going to start quoting it non-stop.
TWO.
I discovered this week that I’ve been applying my makeup in the wrong order. I have always thought that you were supposed to apply concealer first, then foundation. But this week I read from multiple sources that you are supposed to do the opposite: foundation first, then concealer. I had no idea! So I tried it the new way, and I think I like it! The thought is that when you apply foundation first, you end up using less concealer. Plus, if you do it the “wrong” way and apply the concealer first, you run the risk of inadvertently wiping it off when you layer the foundation on top. I guess this makes sense. How do you do this? Foundation first, or concealer first?
THREE.
I came home after work yesterday and whipped up a batch of this Salted Watermelon Juice. It’s now the only thing I ever want to drink. Highly recommend adding a generous squeeze of lime juice when serving. Maybe if I keep a vat of this cool concoction in the fridge, I will survive the current heat plague and find myself in better spirits. I would encourage you to pick up a melon, make a batch, and sit underneath the nearest fan until further notice.
FOUR.
Would you like to hear a mom-fail story? The names have been changed to protect the dignity of those involved (both mothers and daughters), but multiple mothers on our staff encountered extreme hygiene-related incidents with their young children this week. It was gross. One involved an earring back shoved so far into an earring that the skin had begun to grow over it. The other involved a thick coating of scalp gunk all over the child’s head because lack of oversight in the hair-washing department reached an epic level of neglect. We played the one-up game until we were basically gagging and laughing at the same time. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart, and no one prepares you for these moments of scraping crud off of their scalp or surgically removing an earring back from their freshly pierced lobe. Be encouraged, all you moms out there. We are all on the struggle bus from time to time.
FIVE.
If you feel like the heat is getting to you, it’s because it is. This article outlines how the affects of heat on the brain are very real. When our AC went out at the store a few weeks ago, all I could do was stand at the counter and stare. I literally could not think critically or creatively, and I sure as heck couldn’t problem solve. Hot Brain is a real thing, and I am sure that I have a raging case of it. The worst case of Hot Brain happens when you are trying to run errands, but the car never cools off, so you’re just driving around in a big metal oven trying to be productive and focus, but all you can do is wish you were somewhere else so you end up negotiating your way out of half of your stops. Let’s see, I can definitely do without picking up the dry cleaning. If we eat cereal for dinner I can skip the grocery store. I know I need gas, but I’m sure the gauge is wrong. Welcome to Hot Brain.
SIX.
Every Monday, Hurley House has Craft Camp. We set up a craft, you show up with your child anytime between 10:00 and 4:00, sit at the tables, and do the craft. Then you leave. The cost is $5 per child. It’s a nice little activity to break up the day. We have a sign outlining the details of Craft Camp at the register. Every week, no exaggeration, we have no less than ten people assume that for $5 they can drop their child off at 10:00 and pick them back up at 4:00. Nope. For the record, Hurley House does not offer six hours of childcare for $5. It’s drop IN. Not drop OFF.
SEVEN.
The conversation in the kitchen turned to disaster preparedness (as you would expect, right?), and the degree to which some of our staff has considered contingency plans for how to handle an armed robbery was equal parts hilarious and sweet to overhear. Don’t worry guys, Molly has a plan. So if you are thinking about robbing Hurley House during business hours and raiding our low-volume cash drawer, then you are going to have to deal with Molly’s well-orchestrated tactics, and she’s gonna get you! Man, I love our staff.
Have a lovely week!
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